if only
“if only the stars aligned” constantly repeated and spiraled in my head, leading me to write. A lot of my connections of healing coincides with elements of the sky, illuminating the tension of what could have been if things were different than what they are. In this poem I wanted the emotions and pain in my heart to be splattered all over the page, with a potential of hope that grew into a fairytale of hoping what it would be like to be loved by this person again. “if only” is a poem that expresses the pain that I feel that I deny when people ask me
if only by Anyah Jackson
if only the stars aligned
differently than before,
we could return to
what was
safe.
your hand would brush
against mine and
take it.
the little dipper
could sing a song only
Orion's belt could
understand
your eyes would twinkle
across the room,
everything that riddles
inside would unravel the
truth.
I would be
enough for you.
the pace of back and forth
would stagger,
the air we breathe
would fill the absence.
I'd make sense
of what wasn't
made to be understood.
our story would have
created the most complex
constellation;
yet our hope resides in the
if only.
there’s nothing
but space screaming into
darkness, for the
star of you
aligned without
me.